“Everything happens for a reason” they said. “Everything will get easier” they said. “The pain will leave eventually” they said. I’m still yet to find the ‘reason’ and I’m still yet to find the time when things will start to get easier and the time that the pain will leave. It’s almost been 8 months and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my nan. For those who know me will know that I was extremely close with my nan, I spent every evening with her telling her about my day and just general things, I told her absolutely everything. I used to celebrate my birthday with her every single year from my first birthday to my sixteenth. Today, being my seventh birthday... well it’s been different. I wasn’t mentally prepared for today because I didn’t know how well I would cope. I suppose I’ve coped okay. Things changed so suddenly back in April and I had no time to process it. My life went completely downhill... Still to this day I find myself walking into the shop that I used to buy her flowers from every Monday about to get them and then I’m reminded that she’s no longer with us. That’s when my heart shatters all over again. I like to think she’s watching over me and I really hope she’s proud but I don’t know if that’s the case. The memories will stay forever, I’ll always cherish them and hold them close. I would do anything to have one more chance, to say goodbye, to see that smile again. Forever in my heart, 18/4/17.